Phrases Grandparents May Not Realize Have Changed in 2026
- The Unscripted Years
- Jul 5
- 4 min read
One of the greatest joys of being a grandparent is watching your grandchildren grow up in a world that often looks very different from the one you knew. Along with technology, fashion, and music, language has changed too.
Most grandparents never intend to hurt anyone's feelings. In fact, many phrases we grew up hearing were completely normal at the time. Today, however, some expressions can sound outdated, insensitive, or simply unkind to younger generations.
Here are a few examples of words and phrases that are becoming less common—and some easy alternatives.
"Boys will be boys."
This phrase was once used to excuse rough behavior, teasing, or mischief.
Instead, try: "Everyone should be kind and respectful."
Teaching children that all people are responsible for their actions is a lesson that never goes out of style.
"You throw like a girl."
Many of us heard this growing up without giving it much thought. Today, it can send the message that being a girl is somehow less capable.
Instead, try: "Keep practicing—you'll get stronger every time."
"That's crazy."
While still commonly used, many people now avoid using mental health terms casually.
Instead, try:
"That's unbelievable!"
"That's surprising!"
"That's wild!"
"Spastic"
Many grandparents grew up hearing the word "spastic" used to describe someone who was clumsy, overly energetic, or acting silly. Today, however, it is widely recognized as an offensive term because it originated as a medical description for people with certain neurological conditions, including forms of cerebral palsy. Over time, it became a hurtful insult.
Instead, try:
"They're energetic."
"They're all over the place today."
"They're being really goofy."
"They're so excited!"
"Spaz"
Like "spastic," the word "spaz" has often been used jokingly to describe someone who is awkward or uncoordinated. Many people with disabilities consider it offensive because of its connection to "spastic."
Instead, try:
"That was clumsy."
"I'm so uncoordinated today."
"I'm being a little goofy."
"Lame"
Many of us grew up saying something was "lame" when we meant it was boring or disappointing. While it's still commonly heard, some people avoid using it because it originally referred to someone with a physical disability.
Instead, try:
"That's disappointing."
"That's boring."
"That's unfortunate."
"Gypped" (or "Jipped")
Many people have used this word to mean they were cheated or treated unfairly without realizing its origin. The term is derived from an old slur referring to the Romani people and is now considered offensive.
Instead, say:
"I was overcharged."
"I was cheated."
"That wasn't fair."
"Indian Giver"
This expression was once commonly used to describe someone who gives a gift and then wants it back. Today, it is recognized as an offensive stereotype about Native Americans.
Instead, try:
"They changed their mind."
"They asked for it back."
"They took back the gift."
"Man up."
This phrase suggests that showing emotions isn't masculine.
Instead, try:
"You've got this."
"Be brave."
"Take your time."
Children of every gender benefit from knowing it's okay to express emotions.
"You look so skinny!"
Although meant as a compliment, comments about someone's body can sometimes make children self-conscious.
Instead, compliment things like:
Their smile
Their creativity
Their kindness
Their confidence
Their hard work
These compliments tend to last much longer than those focused on appearance.
"Don't cry."
Many of us were taught to be tough.
Today, parents often encourage children to recognize and express their emotions.
Instead, try:
"It's okay to feel sad."
"I'm here with you."
"Do you want a hug?"
Asking, "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Do you have a girlfriend?"
While usually meant innocently, today's families often avoid assuming who a child may someday like.
Instead, ask:
"Have you made any new friends?"
"Who's your best friend at school?"
"You're so spoiled."
Children may hear this as criticism rather than encouragement.
Instead, say:
"You're very fortunate."
"It's important to be thankful."
This helps teach gratitude without labeling the child.
"Good girl" or "Good boy"
Many families still use these phrases, but some parents prefer praise that focuses on what the child did rather than who they are.
Instead, try:
"That was very thoughtful."
"You worked really hard on that."
"I love how kind you were."
Before You Worry…
Please don't feel like you have to memorize a new rulebook.
The goal isn't to be perfect. Most grandparents use these expressions because they were common when they were growing up—not because they intend to offend anyone. As language evolves, making small changes shows your grandchildren that learning never stops, no matter your age.
Your grandchildren won't remember every word you said. They'll remember how safe they felt sitting beside you, how you laughed together, the cookies you baked, the books you read, and the hugs you gave.
If your grandchild or their parents gently point out that a word has fallen out of favor, simply smile, thank them, and move on. That willingness to learn is one of the greatest examples you can set.
The greatest gift grandparents give isn't perfect vocabulary—it's unconditional love, patience, wisdom, and the willingness to keep growing.
And that's something that never goes out of style.
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